Course Outline Learning Objectives - World Class Marriage

Course Outline & Learning Objectives

World Class Marriage Online
Course Outline/Syllabus

Module 1: Marriage as an Institution, Relationships, Definition of a WCM
Contents
1. Getting Acquainted with Online Learning and Your Instructor
2. Marriage as an Institution in Our Culture
3. The Metamorphosis of Every New Relationship
4. Definition of a World Class Marriage
5. The World Class Marriage Assessment Exercise
Assignments for Module 1:
Reading Assignments, Forum Assignment, Reflection Assignments

Module 2: What It Takes to Have a WCM, Goals & Blame
Contents
1. What It Takes to Have a World Class Marriage
2. The Gottman Research
3. How This Workshop Addresses Gottman’s Issues
4. The Structure of a World Class Marriage—16 Pillars & 3 Conditions for Growth
5. Pillar 1—Setting Goals
6. The Importance of Goals
7. Two Kinds of Goals: Agreed-Upon (Personal) Goals and Common Goals
8. Agreed-Upon Goals and Common Goals Exercise
9. Pillar 2—Avoiding Blame
10. Non-Verbal Blame
11. Stopping the Blame Game
12. What’s the Matter with Blame
13. Blame Awareness Exercise
14. Self-Blame
15. Self-Blame Exercise
Assignments for Module 2:
Reading Assignments, Forum Assignment, Reflection Assignments

Module 3: Behavior, Listening, Tit for Tat
Contents
1. Pillar 3—Understanding the Nature of Behavior
2. Implications of This Understanding
3. The Myth of Non-Communication
4. Pillar 4—Using Power Listening
5. The Four Types of Listening—Uses and Problems
6. Putting the Power Listening Lite Package Together
7. Power Listening Lite Exercise
8. What is Power Listening
9. Get the Gist Exercise (Power Listening)
10. Key Points about Power Listening
11. Pillar 5—Giving Up “Tit for Tat”
12. Various Forms/Uses of Tit for Tat
13. Why Tit for Tat is Attractive
14. The Problem with Tit for Tat
15. How to Avoid Tit for Tat
16. Tit for Tat Exercise
17. Pillar 6—Assuming Self-Responsibility
18. When Your Partner Doesn’t Meet Your Needs
Assignments for Module 3:
Reading Assignments, Forum Assignments, Skills Practice Assignment (Power Listening with Partner), Reflection Assignments

Module 4: Cool Talk, Confrontation, Surrender
Contents
1. Pillar 7—Avoiding “Cool Talk”
2. Two Types of Cool Talk: Current Slang, Irony & Sarcasm
3. Benefits of Cool Talk
4. Drawbacks of Cool Talk in an Intimate Relationship
5. Pillar 8—Changing Behaviors, Not Your Partner
6. A Better Way to Confront: Non-Blameful Self-Disclosure
7. Structuring Non-Blameful Self-Disclosure
8. XYZ in Action
9. Self-Disclosure Exercise
10. The Confrontation Cycle: The Key to Handling Defensiveness
11. Pillar 9—Knowing When to Surrender
12. How to Avoid Continual Clashes over the Same Annoying Stuff
13. Surrender Exercise
Assignments for Module 4:
Reading Assignments, Forum Assignments, Skill Practice Assignment (Confrontation Cycle), Reflection Assignments

Module 5: Caring, Hot Topics, Conflict
Contents
1. Pillar 10—Giving Caring the Way It Matters
2. What Makes You Feel Loved Exercise
3. Chapman’s Five Love Languages
4. Implications of Chapman’s Ideas
5. What If Your Partner’s Love Language Isn’t What Comes Naturally to You
6. Pillar 11—Learning to Handle Hot Topics
7. Guiding Principles for Hot Topics
8. Insights for Handling Sex
9. Talking about Our Sex Lives Exercise
10. Insights for Handling Money
11. The Central Principal for Handling Hot Topics
12. Pillar 12—Resolving Conflicts and Disagreements
13. Your Everyday Relationship, When There’s No Conflict Exercise
14. Looking at Conflicts, Disagreements & Fights
15. Dewey-Gordon 6-Steps of Conflict Resolution
16. Experiencing the 6-Steps Formula in Action Exercise
Assignments for Module 5:
Reading Assignments, Forum Assignments, Skills Practice Assignments (Sharing Your Love Language, Talking about Our Sex Lives, Soul-Gazing), Reflection Assignments

Module 6: Apology, Growing Yourself, Bonding, Nurturing the Honeymoon
Contents
1. Pillar 13—Giving Apology and Forgiveness
2. The Keys to a Good Apology
3. Preparations for Apology Exercise
4. Forgiveness: Overcoming Pouting and Sulking
5. Pillar 14—Growing Yourself
6. Differentiation
7. Important Characteristics of Differentiation
8. How Do You Want to Grow Exercise
9. Pillar 15—Forging a Bond
10. The Difference between Bonding and Commitment
11. Can You Try to Bond on Purpose
12. Pillar 16—Nurturing the Honeymoon
13. Nurturing the Honeymoon Exercise
Assignments for Module 6:
Forum Assignments, Skill Practice Assignments (Apology, Emotional Fusion vs. Differentiation Hugs, Sharing about How I Want to Grow), Reflection Assignment, and Final Communication Report

Learning Objectives:
Module 1: Participants will
Appraise Marriage as an institution in our culture
Identify the most common misinformation about divorce
Review why marriage matters in our culture
Appraise the impact of marriage education on marriage relationships

Module 2: Participants will
Identify how therapists sometimes harm marriages and how to prevent this
Appraise the impact of divorce in making people happy
Identify the importance of two kinds of goals in fostering marital success and happiness, and apply these to their own life and relationship
Critique the impact of Blame and its various manifestations on marital happiness and success, and evaluate ways to root it out of their relationship with partner and self

Module 3: Participants will
Assess their own communication skills levels and identify areas for improvement
Analyze Empathic Listening and its purposes, steps, levels, problems, advantages and dangers
Practice a simple way to teach/learn Empathic Listening
Analyze your partner’s role in meeting your needs in life and the benefits of Self-Responsibility
Appraise the relationship between self-responsibility and Self-Esteem

Module 4: Participants will
Review the relationship between martial conflict and endocrine function in men and women
Appraise the psychological factors pertaining to venting, catharsis and expressing feelings
Review the Confrontation Cycle and practice its components
Appraise the value of Surrender as an option for handling unchangeable behavior

Module 5: Participants will
Identify their own and their partner’s Love Language and appraise the most efficient way to give caring to your partner
Review the Five Love Languages
Review the sociological literature on money in a marriage
Evaluate the 6-step system for Win-Win Conflict Resolution

Module 6: Participants will
Review key insights into the practice of forgiveness
Appraise the concept of Differentiation as it applies to a marriage relationship
Identify factors that stimulate Defensiveness and those that reduce it
Identify ways they want to grow in their own lives at present
Identify a plan for nurturing the relationship with their partner

Bibliography
Chapman, Gary. (1995). The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Chicago: Northfield Publishing.

Doherty, William, J., et al. (2002). A Report from Family Scholars: Why Marriage Matters—Twenty-One Conclusions from the Social Sciences. New York: Institute for American Values,

Gordon, Thomas. (1970, 2000). P.E.T., Parent Effectiveness Training. New York: New American Library.

Fagan, Patrick and Rector, Robert. (2002). The Effects of Divorce on America. Washington, DC: The Heritage Foundation.

Fagan, Patrick, Patterson, Robert and Rector, Robert. (2002). Marriage and Welfare Reform: The Overwhelming Evidence that Marriage Education Works. Washington, D.C.: The Heritage Foundation.

Gottman, John M., Ph.D. and Nan Silver. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. New York: Crown Publishers.

Howell, Patty and Jones, Ralph. (2002). World Class Marriage: How to Create the Relationship You Always Wanted with the Partner You Already Have. Encinitas, CA: HJBooks.

Kiecolt-Glaser, Janice K., et al. (1996). “Marital Conflict and Endocrine Function: Are Men Really More Physiologically Affected Than Women?” Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, April 1996, Vol. 64, No. 2, 324-332.

Popenoe, David and Whitehead, Barbara Dafoe. (2004). Social Indicators of Marital Health and Wellbeing: Trends of the Past Four Decades, State of Our Unions 2004. Rutgers, NJ: The Marriage Project.

Schnarch, David, Ph.D. (1998). Passionate Marriage: Love, Sex and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships. New York: Owl Books (Henry Holt).

Waite, Linda J., et al. (2002). Does Divorce Make People Happy? Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages. New York: Institute for American Values.

Waite, Linda J. and Gallagher, Maggie. (2000). The Case for Marriage: Why Married People are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially. New York: Doubleday.

Course Authors
Patty Howell, Ed.M., A.G.C. and Ralph Jones

Patty Howell—Relationship Expert, Trainer, Counselor, Author
Patty is the Executive Director of the Marriage Education Institute and is a highly-acclaimed trainer who has taught relationship skills to thousands of people around the world for over 25 years. She worked as a Counselor and Counselor Educator at Washington University in St. Louis, and is the author of three books, several training programs, as well as many professional articles. She has for many years enjoyed a World Class Marriage with Ralph Jones.

Ralph Jones—Relationship Expert, Trainer, Author
Ralph is Education Director of the Marriage Education Institute and a prominent trainer in the Person-Centered Approach. He worked with Dr. Thomas Gordon, directing the Instructor Training Program and Overseas Training. Ralph has taught hundreds of communication workshops for professionals and lay people on four continents and written training programs now used around the world. He has for many years enjoyed a World Class Marriage with Patty Howell.

Their book World Class Marriage has been published in 10 countries. www.worldclassmarriage.com